How to begin

One of the things that I found difficult in the beginning of our journey is to figure out how to get started in the adoption process. NC is a foster-to-adopt state what that means is that the State of NC wants its adoptive families to be licensed foster parents, this is suppose to enable children to be moved fewer times from home to home and also it allows want to be parents to accept children who are legal at risk, meaning Termination of Parental rights has not yet been granted by the courts.

So for us the first thing we had to decide was if we wanted to adopt an infant or a waiting child(ren). We looked at our lifestyle and decided that toddlers and older children would be a better fit for us. One thing about adopting children is knowing what is best for your family. Once we decided to adopt older children (in the adoption world an older child is generally over the age of 2) we had to decide whether to go through the county or to choose a private agency. One thing that is often misunderstood, is that when foster to adopt there is no fee to use a private agency.

Some items to consider when choosing between working with your county or a private agency is how overwhelmed are the case managers. In our county there is 2 case managers for the entire county, yikes!!! However, we did take our GPS/MAPP training (30 hours of classes are required to become a licensed foster parent) through our county. We had 2 excellent moderators so our classes were not dull or boring, and while going all weekend for 3 weekends seemed alot after working Monday through Friday, it was so worth it.

So if you want to foster or foster to adopt you need to take the 30 hours of training in NC, you can call your county DSS and they will let you know how to enroll in the classes. One thing we learned after taking the classes through our county is that some of the private agencies will come to your house to do your training, this may take a bit longer but it is very convienient especially for working parents. On the other side while we were in a class setting we met many folks, some of whom have become our support network.

We ultimately chose to have Grandfather Home for Children finish and support our foster licensing. I will write more later on how and why we chose Grandfather Home. I will say that this is an incredibly caring agency not just where the kids are concerned but also where their families are concerned.

Here is a link to NC approved agencies:
http://www.ncdhhs.gov/dss/licensing/docs/cpalistadoption.pdf

An Introduction

I am Mel, and on January 26, 2007 I became a mom for the 3rd and 4th times. No I did not give birth to twins, but I was blessed enough to have 2 special little boys ages 4 and 6 join my family. Now the first time I became a mom was on February 26, 1989 and the second time was July 17, 1991, needless to say back then I had way more energy, but perhaps not as much wisdom.

First a bit about me. I am 38, married to a wonderful man for the past almost 7 years, as I stated before a mom four times over, and I work for an excellent engineering company. My journey to adoption probably began with my birth. I was adopted during a time when it was still sort of a shameful thing. While I have always known I was adopted, it was not something that was discussed openly and it was not until I was 15 that I knew who my birthmom was. I do remember thinking as I was growing up that I wanted 10 kids and that adopting some of them would not be weird or strange. Adoption has always been for me a natural way to expand one's family. Looking back I realize that God had already laid out His plan for how my family would look when I got older. Being adopted has enabled me to understand some of what my boys experience, although only some as I never spent time in foster care, which is in of itself a whole different can of worms.

I hope this blog will help anyone who is considering adopting. Hopefully my journey will give you a realistic view of the process, before, during, and after. As well as help you see the pitfalls and most importantly the blessings and rewards of expanding your family with waiting children.